Superstitious pigeons ... and parents

After Nate was born 4 years ago, a coworker of mine came to visit when he was around a month or so old.  I must have told him something like "he slept n hours last night and during the day we had done XY and Z with him so we're doing XY and Z with him today so that he'll sleep n hours again!"  And he laughed and told me about Skinner's "superstitious pigeons." The pigeons were fed at regular intervals regardless of their behavior.  Nevertheless, they associated whatever they did right before the food came as having caused the food to arrive, thus becoming "superstitious" and repeating that behavior frequently in hopes that food would come. He joked that parents are the same way.

This time around I am trying not to be a superstitious parent.  But sometimes I can't avoid it.  It's tough when you want a certain behavior to repeat.  I have seen over the past week that it doesn't really matter what Jack does during the day, he's still going to sleep 6-8 hours for his first stretch.  This is a good thing.

Of course, there are certainly some things that will affect the baby.  :) When you smile and make funny faces, he will smile back.  We've also discovered that when I drink caffeine, he spits up a ton. When I don't, he barely spits up at all.  Nate was a big spit-upper so we assumed Jack was another "happy spitter." That means that the spit up is not due to reflux or colic, and they aren't in any discomfort when they spit up.  But Jack was spitting up so much that he'd actually wake himself up because he'd be soaked around his neck and his head would be in a puddle.  I was doing all the things "they" suggest -- holding him upright for 20-30 minutes after feedings, raising one end of his crib a little (this also helped with congestion when he had a cold) -- but he was still spitting up immense amounts. I was getting ready to try cutting dairy thinking maybe he was sensitive to it (though he didn't really have any of the symptoms of a dairy allergy besides the lots of spitting up).  Nothing I read online suggests that caffeine is a cause of spitting. Someone on a moms' list I read made a comment about having cut out caffeine and I decided to give it a try. It was easier than cutting out dairy.  And it seems to have worked.  No superstitious parent behavior here.  Just a happy baby who isn't spitting up constantly.

In sickness and in health ... and even for lunch.

When my dad retired, my mom, who had "retired" when my brother was born after being a stewardess with Pan Am for 14 years and always listed "homemaker" as her profession, joked that when they got married she had vowed to be with him "in sickness and in health, but not for lunch."

As long as we've known each other, Jen has had Mondays and Tuesdays off and worked Wed-Fri 5:30-midnight (leaving the house around 4:15, depending on traffic) and Saturday and Sunday mornings, generally getting home anytime between 11:30am and 3pm, depending on what's going on that day.

That means that while I'm on maternity leave, unlike many women who's spouses work full-time, I have her home during the day 5 days a week (she's not home during the day on the weekends, however). Of course, that means that 3 days per week, she's not home during dinner time, but, like I said, her schedule has always been like this. We've never had days off together except for Monday holidays and vacations.

It is SO nice to have her here during the day while we've been getting used to our new family.  We've settled into a great routine, especially with Jack usually taking a nice long nap in the middle of the day; that means we get some nice time together with Nate.

Today we had a nice lunch together and then Jen spontaneously made some rice pudding with leftover Chinese food take-out white rice.  I guess our Mondays and Tuesdays while I'm on leave is what "normal" people have on Saturdays and Sundays.

So I say yes to "in sickness and in health" ... and even for lunch.

It's a date! ... Probably ... maybe ... well, we'll see.

I am now about 37 1/2 weeks pregnant. 40 weeks is what they use to determine due date but 37 is considered full term (when the baby is developed enough to be unlikely to need any intensive care post-birth) but it's not unusual to go past your due date by a week or even more.

So we're in a sort of limbo period.

I had a punch list of things I wanted to get done once on leave:

• go through old baby stuff in the basement and replace anything that was old (or missing) and set up the cradle in our room
• clean out the baby's room closet (which had become a storage closet)
• sort through and organize Nate's toys to get rid of gross or broken toys
• set up the play yard (AKA Pack 'n Play) somewhere downstairs to be a downstairs changing table and napping area
• get Nate a new dresser so we can convert his dresser back into a changing table
• winterize the back yard 

We have all but the last 2 and the dresser is coming tomorrow.  So then the baby can come and we'll be all set for him.  

Of course, we are also pushing our luck a bit by having scheduled a couple nights in or out coming up.  This Saturday we're having friends over for dinner.  They were supposed to come at the end of September, but that's when I found myself in the hospital for a night and then home but on bed rest for 5 days, so we rescheduled. Then on Nov. 3rd we're going over to other friends for our annual "Friendsgiving" dinner. :)

So the baby can come anytime after Nov. 4th.

Because I don't know if he's coming tomorrow or in 4 weeks, I'm hesitant to buy any more maternity clothing, even though I'm down to 4 longer-sleeved maternity tops and one has a big stain on it.  I can't even really wear my short-sleeved tops with a sweater because they're all now too short!

But really, of course, he can come any time and we're all set.  You don't need much for the first couple weeks of babies and we have all that and more.  So bring it on, baby!

Sunday night, time to go to work tomorrow ... ha ha, not this Sunday!

I am officially on maternity leave!

My co-admins, engineers and my boss managed to keep a surprise shower from me for a whole week. It made it tough for them because I can see about 10 calendars at work, so even if they made the event private, I would still be able to see it. :)  But they pulled it off and I was legitimately surprised. It was fun!

Today was Nate's birthday party and we had a lot of fun.  Curious Creatures came and did a show with 10 different animals (skunk, corn snake, boa constrictor, sugar gliders, tree frog, tortoise, chinchilla, tarantula, bearded dragon and alligator).

I made a skunk cake, on Nate's request.  It's not the most professional-looking cake in the world, but Nate liked it, and that's the important part.

Now the baby can come. Though he's not due for 4 weeks so we'll see. I have lots of things I'd like to take care of before he's born, but we have most of what we need, so it would be okay if he comes sooner.

Tomorrow Jen and I have 3 hours together when Nate's at preschool.  We may go have breakfast. :)

What I did on my summer vacation

My two-week vacation is over. It was really nice.

We went to Lubec, Maine for the first week.

View from the beach behind the house we rented.

Nate loving walking along the beach throwing rocks.

We visited the easternmost point of the U.S.

Went on a whale watch and saw whales and an eagle's nest

and seals.

We got lobsters.

Went to Canada.

Went on many hikes, including our favorite to Hamilton Cove

Where we attempted a family photo.

The second week I just stayed at home.

I pitted 3 pounds of cherries

and made a cherry pie.

We went to the beach.

I used our zucchini bounty to make a zucchini cake with a lemon glaze.

Used up the last of the cherries in some home made cherry ice cream.

Worked on several organization projects including moving Nate into his new room.

I also made crème brûlée today and a loaf of brioche bread. We actually have no eggs left for the first time since we got our chickens. :)

Um, no, it's not twins.

When people see a pregnant woman, sometimes they say silly thing. And their sense if personal space goes away. It's kind of funny. 

Thursday I was told I had a cute baby bump. This is acceptable. I am not going to complain if someone tells me I look great. 

Please don't tell me after I tell you my due date is in 4 months that I look huge and ask if I'm having twins. For one thing, I'm not huge. In November you may tell me I look huge because I probably will be. 

Also don't tell me i don't look pregnant, even if I'm 6 weeks pregnant and don't. I probably think I do.  

If you're sitting on the T and I'm standing, by all means offer me your seat. I may not take it, but I appreciate your offer. Don't start up a conversation with me, a perfect stranger, about my due date and how I look great (I know, I JUST told our that's fine....if you know me...if you don't, how do you know how I look compared to normal) and continue to sit and not offer me your seat.

And if you don't know the person who is pregnant, you probably shouldn't just grab her belly. It may stick out further than normal but that doesn't mean you can touch it without asking.

So THAT'S where my sweet tooth went

Remember when I said I had lost my sweet tooth?  Well I've found it.  It was waiting in my second trimester.  And specifically ice cream. Which is funny because normally I'm not a huge ice cream fan.  I'll eat it (who wouldn't?) but prefer brownies or cake or cookies.  And it's really really dangerous that we have a Dairy Queen with a Drive Thru about 1 minute down the road.  Or we can walk it in about 5.  Probably I should start walking it. :) Nate and I went through the DQ drive thru tonight. He was in his PJs and barefoot, I had my slippers on.  Maybe next time he and I will walk though I guess he'd at least need shoes.  I don't really feel like gaining 55 pounds again with this pregnancy and the 5-minute walk will definitely burn enough calories to compensate for the heath bar crunch blizzard I got tonight.

It would be pretty impressive to gain 55 pounds again this time since I've only gained 10 pounds so far and I'm in my 18th week.  I'd have to gain 45 pounds in 5 months!  Probably not impossible, but I'm not making that a goal.  I lost it all last time without much trouble, but I'm not going to count on that a second time.

Tomorrow we get to find out if it's a girl or a boy. As long as it cooperates.  With Nate we kept it a surprise and that was fun. But now I have boxes and boxes of boys clothes in the attic, and it would be nice to know if I can keep them all or if I should sort through for the more unisex ones and donate the rest.

I vote girl.

We'll see tomorrow.  (And I'll post a picture tomorrow. Jen's at work and I don't feel like taking an awkward mirror shot right now).