Thursday, April 15, 2010

Full transparency this time around

So, first time we got pregnant we did what you're "supposed" to do and waited until the first 12 weeks were past and then told everyone we were pregnant. And then at 17 1/2 weeks we miscarried. One of the reasons you wait until the 12 weeks are past is that then you have a lower chance of miscarrying ... but having gone through it once, I don't think I would have waited longer because I tell everyone that I had one (when it's appropriate in the conversation ... I don't just offer it up "Hi nice to meet you I had a miscarriage once"). :) So second time around we still waited until 12 weeks but a lot more people knew beforehand because it's such an exciting thing that I couldn't wait to tell people. Also, coincidentally my 4th month was starting right around April 1st and I thought it would be funny to tell everyone at work that I was pregnant on April Fool's Day. And it was.

Now, before you go and get all excited, I'm not pregnant. Jen is! No, just kidding. That would be funny. Neither of us is pregnant.

The other thing we kept more of a secret from people was the fact that we were trying. We weren't offering the info up. Especially since it's so precise to use IUI to get pregnant. Heterosexual couples don't go around saying "hey we had sex last night, so we could be pregnant," so we didn't really go around saying, "hey Lauren got inseminated yesterday so we could be pregnant!" Sure family knew that we were trying, but especially with the first pregnancy and our first tries we were trying to keep it more of a surprise.

But you know what? Why? This time around, I thought about trying to keep it secret from the families even so that it could be more of a surprise, like it was with my sister-in-law. It wasn't a secret that they weren't "not trying" to get pregnant, but again, they didn't go around saying, "hey, last night we had sex so we might be pregnant!" But why am I trying to emulate a heterosexual couple when we're not? We do have to do it differently, people are interested an curious and sometimes feel embarrassed asking these questions so why not just offer it up from the very beginning. Plus we'll likely need someone to watch Nate when we go in for inseminations so it would be tough to keep that a secret. :)

Also it'll give me something to blog about.

Besides, the big reason for not telling people that you're pregnant before 12 weeks are past are so that if you miscarry, the whole world doesn't know. But you know what? If we miscarry, I'll probably tell the whole world anyway.

So. We are getting ready to start trying again. We do the inseminations through a clinic in Boston that has been doing them for Lesbians and single women (because it used to be VERY difficult to get sperm banks to give sperm to unmarried women) forever and they also know that health insurance does not usually cover IUI treatments unless there is a diagnosis of infertility (which you can get after 6 unsuccessful IUI attempts) so they keep the costs as low as possible and try to keep it as unclinical as possible.

Because we haven't been in their program within the last 6 months we have to go for re-enrollment visits to find out what (if anything) has changed and to get re-enrolled with the sperm bank. I had to get a slew of blood and other tests done from my doc to be passed along to the sperm bank. I'm happy to share that I do not have gonorrhea. :P

So once we have those appointments we'll be able to order up some spermies and get started! Yay!

And now, some cuteness:

Nate's first bubble bath. "Mommy, take away this white stuff!"


  1. Oh I'm not subtle - am shouting it off the rooftops that the Disney vacation I'm currently on is our "last hurrah" before we start trying! Yay for our same-age maybe babies! <3

  2. Please don't start posting "Christine Gritmon and Gregory Gritmon had sex last night so we might be pregnant" as your status messages. :D

  3. Can you use sperm from the same doner? Just curious? Good luck and happy baby making. Chris and I have sex all of the time...LOL! Baby or not...didn't you know?

  4. Glad to know, Melissa! :)

    We can't use the same donor because Nathaniel was literally from the donor's last vial of sperm. So we'll choose a new one. It's not a big deal to me though Jen feels a little more strongly that she wishes that we could have the same donor for all our children. I called the sperm bank though and our previous donor is no long enrolled in the program and they don't contact people once they're unenrolled. The sperm bank said that it's certainly not the first time and that they can help us pick a similar donor.

  5. Hooray! Good luck. And congratulations on not having gonorrhea!

  6. Sister-in-law=sister of my wife, not wife of my brother. Doug's still single. You still have a chance ;) Haha, teasing.