I jinxed it!

No, I didn't really jinx anything. :) There was nothing I could have done today to make myself pregnant or not; that would have happened weeks ago.

Not pregnant!

I think we'll take a month off from trying.

This is the hardest part

Today is the day I am supposed to get my period. It hasn't come yet. I feel all jumbled. I don't want to get too excited because I could still not be pregnant, but I don't want to get disappointed yet because I could still be pregnant. I keep thinking it's coming, but then it's not here. I've gone to the bathroom 20 times this morning (well, that's an exaggeration ... maybe just 15). I don't feel crampy but I don't always feel crampy before it comes, just after. I also don't want to jinx anything. I'm not even sure I should post this! I'm afraid that the second I click "publish post" I'll go to the bathroom and have my period.

I did have a dream that I was pregnant last night.

I love this picture. He looks a lot like my brother but with lighter hair.

Oh so I'm supposed to update more than once a month?

I know I owe you all a post. There's not a lot to share, however. This whole process, as you know if you've tried to get pregnant before, is a waiting game.

I wasn't sure if we'd even try this cycle because I had a business trip to New York right around the time that I was supposed to be ovulating. I'm using an Ovulation Prediction Kit (OPK) to determine when I'm ovulating and when it turns positive, it is telling you that you'll ovulate within the next 24-48 hours (or something like that). So if the OPK is positive, we go in to inseminate the next day. I was only staying one night (a Monday) in NYC, so when the OPK was negative on Sunday, I knew I wasn't ovulating on Monday, so I brought the OPK with me to the hotel and sure enough, it turned positive on Tuesday morning so it all worked out fine.

Now we're just waiting again. This is the hardest part of the whole thing. You start analyzing every little twinge or bubble to be a pregnancy sign. Of course, the early signs of pregnancy are the same as PMS symptoms. I feel the exact same way I did last month (when I had convinced myself I was pregnant) so I don't know if that's bad because that means I'll get my period or if it's just inconclusive because it could go either way. If you asked me if I thought I am pregnant now, one minute I will say yes and the next I will say no.

I should know in about a week. Just in time for grandma to come visit Nate from Chicago!

I'm so excited for my mom's visit. Nate is so much bigger and chatty than he was when she was last here in March. Chatty in his own way.

Is there a Kids That Look Like Hitler site? (see Cats That Look Like Hitler)

Just 2 words

Not pregnant. :) Oh well. I was hoping it would work the first time but it takes an average of 3-6 tries to get pregnant (for anyone, not just using AI).

Of course I was sure I was pregnant. Of course my period was later than expected. Of course I bought a pregnancy test and took it this morning and saw the "Not Pregnant" before I realized I had just gotten my period.

Next time will work.

In other news, vacation was great. We'll have some pics up in the Picasa album soon. Or if we're Facebook friends, you've already seen them. :)

And now .... we wait.

Insemination day! Yay! Now we wait ...

I'm glad we're going on vacation next week so that I can't get too crazy trying to analyze every feeling I have to try to figure out if it means I'm pregnant or not. However, as much as I tell myself that I am not going to obsess over it and that I'm not going to do a pregnancy test until two weeks from today, I am sure I'll have myself convinced by the end of the trip. That's exactly what happened the first try when we tried the second time. We went to Chicago for thanksgiving about the same amount of time afterwards and by the end I was convinced I was pregnant. :) But I wasn't. Hopefully if I am convinced I'm pregnant by the end of the trip I will actually be pregnant.

So don't expect much before two weeks is up. :)

In case you didn't already see it on Facebook, our own possible submission to Shit My Kids Ruined.

Who knew the 4th of July deserved 2 days off?

For some reason Google has given us both Monday and Tuesday off for the Independence Day holiday. I am definitely not complaining, just think it's funny. I keep thinking today that I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I don't!

I left work a bit early on Friday, too, so I feel like I've been home forever. And tomorrow I get to just hang out at home with Jen and Nate, then Jen has a job interview and then we're probably going out for dinner.

We went to the beach for the first time with Nate today, and though he was a little confused and didn't really know exactly what to do he ended up enjoying the sand and digging and even enjoyed being carried into the ocean (but he wouldn't let us put him down). He pointed at seagulls and other kids and boats and ate plenty of the Munchkins we had picked up at Dunkin Donuts on the way to the beach. He's been napping now for 2 hours with no signs of stirring. Once he gets up we're going to run an errand at Target and then maybe go get ice cream!!

Sometime at the end of this week or the beginning of next we'll be heading to the doc for our first IUI cycle. Probably Monday, but I could be wrong. I called up the sperm bank with a list of our top 6 donors and they had plenty of vials of the first guy available, so we went with him. We ordered some up and they'll be ready and waiting for us whenever we go in. It would be pretty funny if it works this time because my period was on the 30th (of June) and when we got pregnant with Jonathan my last period was on the 30th (of April) and when we got pregnant with Nathaniel my last period was on the 30th (of December). So it seems a propitious cycle to try. :)

A sandy munchkin at the beach. And a sandy donut hole, too. :)

And we're back!

Yeah, it's been a little while.

But we finally had our re-enrollment appointment. We didn't really learn too much new; a couple minor things have changed and we no longer have to find a donor that is CMV negative (see previous post for why that was an issue) but otherwise we're all cleared and ready to go. We have our list of donors and we basically just have to decide how many vials of sperm to buy at a time (we have previously done 3 at a time) and call them up and order.

Super exciting new news is that my health insurance now will cover the IUI appointments (that's $250!). Google had a chat with all the health insurance providers and Cigna HMO will now cover IUIs for women in same sex relationships. So that is $250 less per attempt out of our pockets.

So, probably we'll go for try numero uno in July unless we're on vacation when I ovulate. We decided not to try and rush things. Especially since I'm likely ovulating like tomorrow and the re-enrollment appointments were yesterday.

It was amusing looking through all the donors' long profiles. Essentially they're all the same. Mostly in their early 20s when they donated (23 seemed to be the popular age) and grad students in the Boston area. There was one guy born in '57 and one who was 19 (I think he may have been the triplet). Mostly it came down to family health history and feelings. Both of us said, "I just don't like him" once or twice. We have a list of our top 6 so hopefully of those 6 one will have some IUI vials available. I guess I'll have to give the sperm bank a call soon. :)

That is a piece of macaroni in his hair.